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HO’S RAISING YOUR CHILDREN?Pondering the Priority of Parenting
Since the wisdom of Proverbs isn’t automatically passed on to the next generation, I need to ask, “Who’s raising your children?” To make sure you understand the question correctly, let me tell you what I am not asking: I’m not asking, “Where do they sleep at night?” Or, “Who pays for their clothes, toys and education?” I’m asking, “Who’s raising your children?” In other words, who is training and instructing them? Who is passing on to them beliefs, values and convictions that they will adopt as their own when they become young adults and venture out on their own? I’m asking, “Whose influence is determining the projection of their entire earthly lives, and more importantly, their eternal destiny?” I hope you can see that when I ask, “Who’s raising your children?” I’m asking a monumental question.
The sad reality is that many children are raising themselves. It’s becoming increasingly common and acceptable to leave children – even young children – home alone. “Latchkey kids” is now part of our vocabulary. This tendency is tragic. The Bible says that all of us are born with a sin nature – a natural tendency towards evil. This is why children are naturally selfish and need to be taught to share their toys. They naturally lie and cover up their mistakes. Nobody has to teach a child how to lie. It comes from within. Children naturally get angry and whine when they don’t get their way, and have to be taught repeatedly to be patient and self-controlled. If children are left to themselves, you can expect them to indulge their sinful desires with little restraint.
The Minnesota Crime Commission reported a number of years ago: “Every baby starts life as a little savage. He is completely selfish and self centered. He wants what he wants when he wants it: his bottle, his mother’s attention, his play-mate’s toys, his uncle’s watch, or whatever. Deny him these and he seethes with rage and aggressive-ness, which would be murderous were he not so helpless. He’s dirty, he has no morals, no knowledge, no developed skills. This means that all children, not just certain children but all children, are born delinquent. If permitted to continue in their self centered world of infancy, given free reign to their impulsive actions to satisfy each want, every child would grow up a criminal, a thief, a killer, a rapist.” Again, let me ask, “Who’s raising your children?”
If you abdicate your responsibility, MTV and the Ozzy Osborne family may take over. Isn’t that a frightening thought! The average teenager watches 3 hours of television a day. Meanwhile, our young people reported that they spend less than 4 minutes a day in meaningful conversation with their mothers, and a mere 2 ½ minutes a day talking things over with dad. Get this: Teens spend 2,800% more time watching TV than they do with mom and dad. And we haven’t even considered the impact of music, video games or the internet. Who did you say is raising your children?
In Deuteronomy 5, we have the declaration of the ten commandments. Then Moses tells the Israelites: “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (Deut. 6:6-7). At least two parenting principles emerge from these verses.
First, apply the word of God in your own life. The commandments “shall be on your heart.” I take this to mean that parents should learn the Bible, love the Bible, and live according to the Bible. If you haven’t learned the commands, how can you teach your children? If you don’t love the Bible, do you really think your children will see how precious it is? If you don’t live according to God’s word, can you expect your children to submit to its authority? Parenting begins by being a godly example, because of who we are.
Second, impress the Word of God upon your children. Make it an intentional priority to ground your children in the truth. Parents have the primary responsibility to instruct their children in the faith. And parents, not pastors or teachers, will stand before God and give the ultimate account for how they raised their children. To teach your children diligently just talk about the Word constantly: “when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” This takes time and presupposes you are doing things with your children. Too many parents are consumed with their careers and they’re unwittingly sacrificing the souls of their children on the altar of materialism. Go home early and talk with your children.
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