T
HE VEXATION OF A FOOLA Meditation on Proverbs 12:16
The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult” (Pro. 12:16). Vexation is not a common word today, but in earlier eras, such as Jane Austen’s, it was used regularly, along with one of my favorite phrases “make haste.” The verb vex is defined by Webster as “to give trouble to, especially in a petty or nagging way; disturb, annoy, irritate.” The NIV translates this verse: “A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.” This proverb addresses the person who is annoyed by even the slightest irritation or inconvenience. The Bible pulls no punches, such a person is a fool.
How do we know that this fool is vexed or annoyed? Because he or she wastes no time in making this vexation known to the world through ranting and raving or pouting or letters or e-mails or phone calls, etc. I could be overly critical, but it seems that this proverb is needed in our cry baby, “you hurt my feelings,” “I’m a victim” culture of hyper-sensitive, self-absorbed whiners.
We don’t have to mention any names, but there was a certain four year old boy who said too often for his daddy’s liking, “They hurt my feelings.” Dad would follow up, “What did they do?” The little boy answered, “They laughed at me” or “They looked at me.” But young children aren’t the only ones who are easily offended or hurt. “A receptionist for Florida Governor Jeb Bush’s office came under fire for posting at her desk a greeting card showing a flag with a cross on it. A lawsuit was filed, and though the purpose of the card was to honor those who lost their lives on September 11, state senator Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Weston) declared, ‘To me, it’s offensive and hurtful’” (Janet Folger, The Criminalization of Christianity, p. 103). Hurt by a greeting card, because it had a tiny cross on it? Come on!
We’re so worried about hurting some child’s fragile feelings or wounding their precious self-esteem that we now have sporting events, like baseball, where keeping score is forbidden. We wouldn’t want the losers to be scarred for life from the trauma after all. Yet who do we thinking we’re fooling? After this supposed no-score game is over one team is jumping up and down while the other is acting in a more subdued manner. These are great opportunities to instruct our children about life; to teach them to be humble winners and graceful losers. Our kids need to learn that often life isn’t “fair.” You don’t always win. You don’t always get the best grades. You don’t always get the toys your friends have, and on and on it goes. If we don’t teach these lessons to our children when they are young, we will rear a generation of easily annoyed fools.
Beware of becoming a victim. It will make you think that you are justified for being so vexed. Moreover, it will adversely affect your behavior. In C. S. Lewis’ book, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Edmund betrays his two sisters and brother, because he felt like he was the victim. For many years Michele and I have been repeating a maxim that I heard a pastor say: “Hurting people hurt people.” We’ve seen this truth manifested countless times in all areas of life.
So what’s the antidote? The second half of the proverb tells us: “but the prudent ignores an insult.” Our natural, fleshly, tendency is to strike back, and to strike back with greater force, or to think of a good witty comeback to put them in their place. But what did Jesus tell us to do? “But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matt. 5:39). We’re talking about a back-handed slap, not a punch. This verse doesn’t forbid self-defense, what it forbids is returning insult for insult.
Our Lord gave us an example to emulate. “Then they spit in his face and struck him. And some slapped him, saying, ‘Prophesy to us, you Christ! Who is it that struck you?’” (Matt. 26:67-68). How did Jesus respond? He could have struck them down in an instant with fire from heaven, but he was a prudent man and ignored the insults. Some want to protest, “But they shouldn’t be allowed to get away with that!” They’re not getting away with anything. Speaking of Christ, Peter wrote, “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (1 Pet. 2:23). By entrusting himself to the just Judge, he was leaving room for God’s wrath, because he knew the Scriptures: “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Rom. 12:19 quoting Deut. 32:35). We should do likewise knowing that “the LORD will vindicate his people” (Deut. 32:36).
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way, you do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction, and you do not make more than 1,000 physical copies. For web posting, a link to this document on our website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be explicitly approved by Fox Lake Community Church